#what if i lost the touch...
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i want to do webcoding again but im nervous
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i thought i was at my lowest but holy shit it gets lower
#woke up feeling more lost and out of touch with myself.. my surroundings and my partner all in the span of a night.. what the hell..#i really need a new therapist. specifically a dbt therapist but i have really weird health insurance so there's not many options..#i just really need someone that i feel open enough to talk to about anything and that will actually help me and not just use the dumbass#worn out therapist lines..#bpd shitposting#actually bpd#actually mentally ill#bpd#actually borderline#bpd vent#bpd fp#bpd favorite person#bpd mood#bpd problems#sorry 4 the long rant in tags :/
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it's never the last time.
I was trying to justify to myself having Leona know how to use a waffle maker, and. well. sometimes you just gotta go where the flow takes you.
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#tamashina mina#(just because of kifaji)#kifaji: it's four o' clock in the morning why on earth are you making waffles#leona: because i've lost control of my life#anyway i'm trying to be less lazy about my spot-blacking#(because obviously what leona making waffles for a toddler needs is that noir touch)#i know i can still be doing a lot more with it...but it's a start :')
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I'm so tired of feeling like this.
#actually mentally ill#depressing shit#mental health#sorry for being depressing#anxi4ty#cw vent#i cant take this shit anymore#im going to kms#im losing it#ready to kms#depressing life#kill my life#why am i like this#i wanna kms#kms#i want to kms#what is wrong with me#i hate this#what the fuck#i dont get it#i hate everything#i dont care anymore#fuck everything#mentally fucked#i have no mouth and i must scream#woke up feeling more lost and out of touch with myself.. my surroundings and my partner all in the span of a night.. what the hell..#mentally exhausted#im a horrible person#mentally unstable#bed rotting
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As per usual, it’s DP crossover with (probably) DC, although you could probably adjust it for other fandoms
ANYWAYS
A little kid and his mother are trick or treating in another city, perhaps at some kind of event rather than knocking on doors, and the kid is dressed as Phantom. It’s very adorable, with his little ghost-shaped bucket and clearly homemade and already stained costume—listen, white only works if you can just fly over street grime or phase it out of your clothes—and his slightly I’ll fitting wig. The kid is SO happy to be out and about dressed as his favorite, and maybe even showed it off to Phantom back in Amity Park before his family left.
The hero, insert whoever you wish here, is probably in civvies and just enjoying the event. The kid, meanwhile, is so glad when people ask who he is so he can explain, and so- the hero gets to hear ALL ABOUT the local town hero who is probably pretty small time despite the kid’s clearly exaggerated stories. The hero certainly never heard of him, but the kid’s mom confirms that Phantom really was the town hero, despite some mixed reviews of the poor guy.
“Did you manage to show him your costume?” the hero asks.
“Yeah! We went down to the cemetery to leave flowers and I got to show him my costume.”
Wait. Cemetery? Maybe it was part of theme, because Phantom had to be named that for a reason, but… it sounded like…
The kid ignores the suddenly VERY still hero and instead turns to his mom. “Momma, do you think we should bring him candy? He doesn’t get to trick or treat like we do, and I can work super hard to get him a bunch!”
The kid’s mom just smiles. “We could, but maybe we should bring him something homemade. I bet he’d like something more filling, teen boys like him have a hollow leg.”
The kid wrinkles his nose. “Like Vernie with the pizza bagels?”
“Like your cousin, yes. We can make some cinnamon rolls and take them to his memorial, maybe bring some of the apples from your grandpa’s garden…”
The hero is pretty much forgotten as the two-part family wanders off, not quite intentionally forgetting the hero is there so much as the hero somewhat accidentally ended the conversation when they just froze and didn’t ask anything further.
Not that the hero didn’t want to. But they’d learn something very serious.
One—there was a small town hero they’d never heard of. Two—that hero was apparently a teen. Third—most pressingly, the teen hero was both beloved enough to have kids dressing up as him and dead enough to have a grave.
This… might require some phone calls.
#dpxdc#danny phantom crossover#meanwhile Danny. sitting on a giant marble slab that has the most ridiculous gag gifts a ghost could ever ask for#he’s just like Oh Sweet Cinnamon Rolls!#he would try to convince people to bring him nasty burger but while val has MOSTLY gotten over her vindictive anger at Phantom DOES decide#that she’s gonna be petty and add cilantro to everything#because Danny has the cilantro soap gene#jokes on her he’ll still eat it#Danny likes his little memorial in the grave. it helps settle him sometimes. also he’s gotten to know the security guards for the cemetery#they’re fun. a bit morbid. they LIKE his jokes so you can stuff it JAZZ#MEANWHILE the hero. Whomstever they are but like 90% of you are thinking either batfam or Justice league#are having just. a TOUCH of a crisis#now they gotta figure out where the kid and his mom are from without either of them figuring out#dealer’s choice on what the GIW and why Amity Park isn’t on the radar#I’ll add my two cents bc when don’t I but I’m by and large not like… dictating this? anyways#I like making the GIW just a BIT more incompetent or just having some massive flaws as an organizational group#so they keep forgetting to tell people to not LEAVE and to keep quiet#average amity Parker if the GIW tried this anyways: aw that’s cute. anyways-#and if it’s dc I guess you need to figure out how the jl never found out. so#i mean there’s a LOT of heroes and cities in dc#and amity park is just lost to the noise or. bc Fenton bad luck#every time Danny tried to call. the jl had some insane disaster and or their systems were down#he eventually figured he might actually be cursed- jury’s still out on that -and he’s saving lives by just handling it himself#he can handle rhe metaphorical mega thunderstorms if it means he doesn’t accidentally summon a fucking tsunami to hit the planet ya know?#the kid and the mom have no idea that what they said was Odd#they are just so used to it. amity park already was using death puns and had an. interesting history and relation with death#even BEFORE there was a dead kid flying around in his white gogo boots
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#genshin impact#xiaoven#xiao#venti#venxiao#ravidraws#I’ve missed them so much#What I haven’t missed is my sketches looking very cute up until I start doing the line work/coloring#Also I haven’t seen my man xiao in over a year now this is all from memory because I didn’t want to look up references#Initially I was supposed to post this and another thing for his birthday but then I lost motivation and i didn’t touch it for a whole month#and sometimes after that I couldn’t be bothered to draw their canon clothes so it became some sort of modern au lmao#Also I didn’t feel like looking up crystalflies so now there’s a normal ahh butterfly in there :D#The power of not drawing genshin clothes iktr
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I still think it's very silly that when Eren "died" in season 1, Mikasa was deeply shaken, but soon realized that she still had fight in her and wanted to live to preserve her memories of him. She chose to stand up and fight to honor him
And then there's Armin, who went catatonic, who wanted nothing more than to die with Eren, who tried to convince Mikasa and Connie to leave him with a blade so he could save them and join Eren...



I know it's often said that Mikasa was obsessed with Eren, or that she was too attached to him, but I think we're ignoring the real codependent mess here
#to be clear I don't think mika was obsessed with eren - at least not beyond what makes sense for someone who's lost all their loved ones#and I think armin is perfectly capable of living without eren too#I just like making fun of him :P#ema#armin arlert#mikasa ackerman#eren jaeger#shiganshina trio#draft from january 10 2024#erearu#eremin#eremika#I'd add arumika but the post doesn't touch on their relationship#erearumika#eren x armin
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One thing that I think a lot of people in the Deltarune fanbase right now don’t really get is that repairing old, outdated, and archaic equipment is not only complicated, but it can be dangerous as well. And this isn’t to say you can’t take creative liberties, I just think it would be interesting to explore just how fragile Tenna is as a physical thing in the first place.
In old CRT and Radio repair, there is this thing called having a “hot” chassis. Now, to prevent from getting into overcomplicated details that might be overly confusing, I’ll use the wiktionary definition for hot chassis: A metal chassis, used as a base for electrical equipment, that is live because it lacks a transformer to isolate the equipment from the mains.
This essentially means that if you touch the wrong thing at the wrong time in a CRT with a hot chassis, it can shock you to death. It can kill you. It doesn’t mean it will! But it absolutely can, even if statistically infrequent. However we have to realize that there is a very big difference between an average person cracking into a CRT for fun, and a trained technician doing professional repairs. It’s obvious who is safer here. You can handle hot chassis CRTs if you properly discharge them, and the professionals are the ones who were trained to know how.
However there is a misconception when people get worried about owning or handling a CRT. You will not die from touching an intact CRT. This is in the realm of opening one and repairing or modding it, not in the realm of everyday use. If CRTs could easily kill you just for touching them while they’re on, we probably wouldn’t have so many fond memories of petting the electric fuzz that comes from the screens. And they also would have been banned.
Sure, it’s possible there are faults or other issues, like cracks or perhaps a wire got messed up and is a fire hazard… But CRTs don’t explode like I have heard some people express worry for. If anything, they implode, due to the tube having a vacuum inside of them. Cracked screens can shock you, and are impossible to repair (they need replacement, and not every CRT model has spare parts just lying around)
This is all to say: Repairing a damaged Tenna is more complicated than it appears, and absolutely poses some risks. Maybe in the dark world it would be pretty simple considering he has a body, but in the circumstances of repairing him in the light world, there is only so much damage his body could possibly take before the damage has gone… Too far. And then that gets into a question of “if you replace enough parts is it still the same person” (which is beyond the scopes of this post).
I also mention all this because I see more people interested in CRTs due to Chapter 3. I love that people are interested more in these archaic pieces of technology and media! It’s wonderful that I’m seeing an interest in what I grew up with.
But I want you guys to be careful when opening a CRT. I know people have gotten awfully comfortable with opening electronics lately, but a CRT is different in a few key ways. Before opening one, please take GREAT CAUTION and be in the presence of someone else in case something actually does happen. Lighting doesn’t strike often, but it only has to strike once.
#deltarune#deltarune spoilers#mr ant tenna#tenna#tenna deltarune#I’m touched that people are getting into CRTs#but please be careful!#also I think more people should play off of ‘hot chassis’ I feel there is lost potential there#my post#also: not every CRT is a hot chassis. some aren’t!#however we don’t know what Tenna’s make is#so you can take this either way
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Moze is initially apprehensive about your and Jiaoqiu's relationship. Not because you're not good for him. You are. You make him smile, you make him laugh, you bring him fresh groceries when he has a hard time leaving the house, you make sure he doesn't just rot in bed all day (although you happily join him for this too). But as Moze comes to acknowledge his past, as he understands more about what it means to have people to care about and who truly care about you, he realizes how hard it is to live without people who mean so much. And if something happens to one of you, will the other survive?
It leaves Moze feeling confused. Is this jealousy? That losing one of you might mean losing you both, without care for what happens to the rest of them.
On some level, you all live dangerous lives, even if Jiaoqiu doesn't work for anyone but Feixiao anymore and diviners are fairly well guarded when they are near the battlefield. Moze knows it won't happen yet, that you are not yet so tied together, but he worries for Jiaoqiu and his fragile heart.
Moze remains his reticent self when Jiaoqiu talks about you, or when you talk about Jiaoqiu. You are undeniably good for him, and Moze can, with fond begrudging, admit Jiaoqiu is good for you too. And slowly, Moze's apprehension transforms into a more worn, tired worry touched with curiosity.
For so many years, stronger feelings have felt burned out of him. With no one to respond to his cries, they had died before they could lay half-formed in his chest. And although it is a gentle thing, the love between you and Jiaoqiu is strong enough to make Moze unsure. All he can do is keep you alive when he can. For Jiaoqiu's sake. He's not willing to let a thing like love keep you all from sharing the life you have been given.
#hg.post#jiaoqiu#jiaoqiu x reader#moze#hsr#i think moze's feelings around romantic love are complicated at best#it's like he doesn't understand it#but “love” or “devotion” was one of the things used as an excuse to harm him in the past#so he immediately sees the danger in it#one of the side quests has you meeting an elderly foxian man who lost his wife#and a heliobus is both trying to understand and alleviate this man's guilt#if you're with him long enough#I think it's safe to say Jiaoqiu would become a shell of himself if he lost his mate#he's getting better at it#but he has a heart capable of incredible empathy and love#and it's what makes him fragile#loss touches him very deeply#and i think this coupled with his rather glib attitude nominally puts moze off#they care about one another#but moze (who had to suppress many of his emotions and tears) also is perplexed#from the margins#midnight posting
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I miss hairy lover Soap 😩 the yearning is real guys
mhh hairy lover soap who throws away every single razor, wax or other hair removal product you buy because tf are you doing with that? he likes you hairy. if you go bald what is he supposed to tug when giving you head? what is he supposed to cum on? what is he supposed to rub his tip against before putting it in? what is he supposed to nuzzle into for comfort??? huh??? do you EVER think of him and his feelings? poor man.
#i feel like ive really not been delivering with my writing lol;; like have i lost my touch???? idek#anyway#hes so dramatic#sigh#him and price are the reason i developed a hairy kink (???)#growing my bush out cause what if a scottish hairy lover comes along???#tmi#gothghostiie#ask ghostiie#John mactavish x reader#john soap mactavish x reader#soap x reader#soap#john mactavish#john soap mactavish#cod mw#cod mw2#cod mwii#call of duty#cod#cod mw3#cod mwiii#soap cod#cod soap#cod soap x reader#soap cod x reader
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thinking about. how both tim and dick lost their best friends. ones they never thought they would have to lose because of their powers. ones they never thought they’d outlive. ones they got back.
(this is about donna & wally/kon & bart)
#idk man#just. dick knows what it’s like#and they should’ve touched on that when tim loses kon & bart#he should’ve comforted tim#rahhhh#missed opportunity to get into their similar losses#dick grayson#tim drake#donna troy#wally west#bart allen#kon el kent#nightwing#troia#wonder girl#kid flash#impulse#robin#superboy#dc comics#dick and tim#actually yk what#we don’t talk about dick losing donna and wally and roy enough i think#like tim losing kon and bart is brought up relatively often by the fandom#but dick lost his best friends too!#give me that good angst yall
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thinking about how mulder loves to get scully a gift, usually terribly heartfelt, even if disguised as something flippant:
the superbowl vhs tape he brings her when she wakes up from her coma in one breath (and her deadpan "i knew there was a reason to live")
tickets for a football game to watch together in irresistible
bringing her flowers to the hospital in memento mori (he lies, saying he stole them from a guy with broken legs to make her laugh)
the birthday keychain in tempus fugit (and when she finds a meaning to it, he claims "i just thought it was a pretty cool keychain")
that is a man who is always thinking about her.
#you can just picture him at the store thinking “oh boy she's gonna love this :)”#i think the superbowl vhs one chokes me up the most because he's trying so hard to play it cool when he had just lost her#and he needs to break the ice somehow because he hates to put those big feelings into words#he's more into saying what he means with touch and subtext#it's as if he needed SOMETHING off of the shelf at the store to say “i'm glad you're back. i missed you. i hope you're well”#so he goes with a dumbass VHS she is never going to watch. just to see her recognize his coded declaration of love.#and that exhausted smile she reserves for his antics#and it makes me tear up! still! thinking about it!#i know love languages are problematic but i do think there is something underrated about giving gifts as an act of love#of having your thoughts for someone being represented with a physical object. making that love tangible. you can touch it.#(it works very well on me because i tend to assume if you're out of sight you're not thinking about me)#(so looking at a little trinket someone gave me is like oh!!! they actually are thinking about me often. enough to find this Thing)#anyway. that is my emotional ramble for the evening. please enjoy#AND DISCLAIMER: i am sure there are other examples of him giving gifts i forgot and that there are more yet to come#but as a reminder i have only seen up to s5 ep 3 so! pls no spoilers even if i do tag this for the general public#okay promise? promise no spoilers in the tags? thank youuuuu mwah#the x files#txf#msr#fox mulder
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[NINJAGO LEAKS DR S3P2, talking about jay/rogue]
jay rogue walker is better than me because if i lost my entire identity and memory and didnt even know if my name was actually real and got for years manipulated and lied to and the people who got me kicked out and kept switching back and forth from being seemingly nice to hating me for every little thing then commissioned me a job, then wanted me to risk my literal soul which is fucked up already from the other guy to save people we werent there for just to not save anyone but the targets anyway, and then go do that again??? and then they get mad at me for not wanting to risk my life for something i never wanted to be a part of?????? yeah id murder them all honestly
#ninjago leaks#ninjago spoilers#ninjago dr s3p2#WHY ARE THE NINJA ACTING LIKE HIS SOUL BEING SHATTERED AND THE MEMORY LOSS ARE AN INCONVENIENCE TO THEM AND LIKE JAY ISNT A LITERAL STRANGER#TO THEM NOW#jay had every fucking right to walk away especially after everyone treated him like shit#is he mean and slightly cruel and very inept at social interaction? yeah in his words#he still did for arin in maybe a week what the entire team couldn't do for literal years#like theyre pissing me off so badly theyre giving him no fucking grace#its the exact conflict i predicted that the ninja are doing the exact same thing admin and ras did to him And Jay Calls It Out#like dont get me wrong i love it as a writing choice but im gonna be fucking pissed if the writers make jay to be in the wrong#THEYRE FALLING FOR THE FACADE JAYS FUCKING UNCOMFORTABLE WITH THE PEOPLE AND THE TOUCHING AND FUCKING SCARED OF DYING#HES NOT THE JAY THAT SURVIVED DAYS SLASH WEEKS OF TORTURE LOST EVERYONE TWICE AND SINGLEHANDEDLY SAVED THE WORLD TWICE#and what pisses me off is that its literally the season/part focused on taking accountability for shit like that but naur lets all treat jay#like shit because he magically didnt turn his memory button back on the moment he laid eyes on them#AFTER LITERAL YEARS OF TRYING TO LIVE HIS LIFE#i need episodes 19 and 20 NOE#NOW#*#so much empathy and grace has been given to Literally Every Character this season except for jay BY THE CHARACTERS
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I asked myself why I failed to notice. It was the first time we'd been apart that long. I found the birthday gifts you prepared for me in my room, from my 18th to my 21st. ...Shut up. I started to think about what you were doing back then. Were you celebrating my birthday all by yourself?
KISEKI: DEAR TO ME Ep. 12
#kiseki: dear to me#kisekiedit#kdtm#kiseki dear to me#chen yi x ai di#ai di x chen yi#nat chen#chen bowen#louis chiang#chiang tien#jiang dian#userspring#userrain#uservid#userspicy#userjjessi#pdribs#*cajedit#*gif#do you ever cry about the chen yi that woke up to find ai di gone.#do you ever think about the chen yi that felt ai di's tears on his face and reached up to hold him closer. to comfort him.#who saw & chose in a moment the true ai di that had always been by his side then lost him in the next. & woke up to learn it was his fault#cuz i think about the chen yi during ai di's prison time a lot. i think about him going over so many of his memories#reevaluating ai di's anger and teasing and realizing it was all heartbreak. THAT IT WAS ALL HEARTBREAK.#the guilt...the desperation & need to get through to ai di so he never makes him feel that way again. understanding that he loves ai di too#the way he gently touches ai di's hands and face here... he tied him up to keep him from running but hes being so earnest and SO careful#with ai di's pain & ai di's love. his expressions & the way he takes deep breaths before admitting things out loud like its clear#hes thinking hard abt what he wants to say and how he wants to say it. bc he has to make ai di understand how much he means this#how much he misses him. how much he wants to make this right. how he wants & needs to be by ai di's side forever bc he loves him!#he loves him!!!!!!!!! GOD. i love chen yi.
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Everytime someone goes "Luka is so manipulative" as if anyone on Alien Stage never did anything wrong ever fucking kills me.
Till killed his opponent (since winning against an opponent is killing them in y'all logic) in round 2 by not letting him sing at all.
The only rounds were NOTHING was done to undermine the opponent was round 1. And round 3.
Mizi and Ivan are canonically the only fucks who let their opponent sings at all.
Round 6...Well technically Ivan did NOT stop Till from singing. He made himself lose.
And do tell me if i am wrong. In Round 7 Luka let Till sings. Like the whole time. He did not overtake his lines or do any touch thay was directly harmful at all.
#alnst luka#alnst mizi#alnst ivan#Legit till could have ignored him but since he touched his throat it reminded him of Ivan and he lost his whole cool and boom#I mean the violin vs electric guitar part was already done#Frankly i am unsure what killed Till was it from the start or the luka manipulation or moving toward Mizi aka OUT of the stage which is#Not allowed at all#Mostly Ivan dying the same day and him declaring his feelings in this way on broad ass tv#Add to that bro got roughed up the days before the round 6 and the fact he thought mizi was dead#Yeah nah bro was cooked even if Luka did not pull any shit
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The aesthetics/mood boards of Patti LuPone's characters.ㅤKitty Duval — "The Time of Your Life"
#patti lupone#kitty duval#the time of your life#aesthetics#aesthetic#moodboard#Yes it's Kitty again because I love this baby girl too much not to keep doing aesthetics with her#I want to touch her cheeks stroke her head kiss her nose and tell her that she's going to be fine#She's just a lost kitten with big watery eyes what do you want from her?#I assure you I did not name my OC after Kitty Duval and did not use the characteristic features of this baby girl to describe her!#Okay I did it and I repent of all my crimes. But one day I will write a good fic with these characters and I will be happy#And oh yeah I have some really cool art with my OC and her girlfriend#I could show it to the world if you're interested so... *wink*
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